On the Act of "Writering"

I decided today that there is an act of being a writer which is different from the act of writing.

The act of writing is pretty straight-forward. You put words together. You can write on paper, the computer or even in sand. It's pretty easy.

The act of writering, on the other hand, isn't.

The act of writering is constant juggling - balancing the needs of the story with the needs of self, as in when one needs to go to the grocery store but the story is going so well you don't get there for weeks and the only thing left in the refrigerator is a wilted piece of lettuce and your spouse is looking at you like, "Really? You couldn't get to the grocery store?" Or wanting to call in sick to work because the story is going really, really well, and you don't want to stop and needing to balance your desire to write with your desire to make money so you can go grocery shopping.

Writering involves a great deal of self-assessment, too. Am I feeling tired because I was up until 2 am working on the story last night or because I'm afraid the story isn't going well and I don't want to deal with it? Am I jumping out of my chair every five minutes because the story isn't going well or because I'm writing such an emotionally tense moment I can't sit still for longer than one sentence at a time? Am I running away or engaged? Do I want to go take pictures because I'm procrastinating or because I need to recharge my batteries? If I stop writing for the day here am I going to be able to pick it up tomorrow? Am I feeling blocked because the scene doesn't belong here or because I'm afraid of it? Am I afraid? Am I afraid? Am I afraid?

I think writering is where most writers fall apart. We think writing should be easy, but we fail to understand that there's writing and then there's writering, and so we beat ourselves up because writering isn't easy at all. It takes constant vigilance, constant attention, and, sometimes, it's exhausting.

I writered today. I writered a lot, actually. Yesterday was one of those incredible writing days where I was able to concentrate for hours and the words flowed and seven pages got written. Those days always make me think I'm going to be able to wake up the next day and dive right back in for another productive day, but that rarely happens. Instead, I get days like today. Sitting at the computer and typing a sentence and then getting up and doing something else. Wondering if I should go do something else again, and if that will help the words flow better or if I should keep my butt in my chair and muddle through.

I chose to muddle through, and I've got another couple of pages to show for it. But it was a very writeringly day.

So When I Stare at You...

I am extremely distractable. You can probably tell from the number of times I complain about dogs barking or hammering from construction sites in my town or my inability to write well when people are in the house. I'm even worse in a crowded room or at a party where I'm likely to stare blindly at the person with whom I'm having a conversation, not hearing a word he or she is saying, because I'm listening to the five or six other conversations going on around me. This post from Jonah Lehrer's blog "The Frontal Cortex" makes me feel so much better about being highly distractable.

http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2011/02/against-attention/

Creative Response - Maps III

Sending You My Love

Creative Response - Maps II

Impossible Roadtrips

Medicine Hat to Horseheads



Aztec to Atlantic City

Creative Response - Maps

Maps of Light

This is What it Means to Be Writing

I haven't gotten much work done on the novel in the past three weeks. Several family members have been sick, other projects have been a higher priority, and, well, life just basically got in the way. It happens. But it's always difficult climbing back into writer mode after a break like this. I've been tracking my thoughts for the past couple of hours as I've started to work on the novel again. So here, for your reading pleasure, is what the mind of a writer at work actually looks like.

Wake
Shower
Eat breakfast
Check email and Facebook
Write sticky note reminding self to stay mindful of being online - Facebook and other writers' blogs can eat up my writing time
Open binder with current draft
Open binder with completed second draft
Laugh because the scene I'm working on next occurs on page 45 in the current draft, and page 3 in the completed second draft.
Open both documents in Word.
Stare at screen.
Think: I wish I was writing this faster.
Think: I'm forgetting all the amazing things I wanted to add into the new draft, all the links and layers of meaning.
Think: I've let it go too long before getting back to it.
Read Chapter 3 in current draft to get back into the flow of the work.
Think: If I keep rereading this every time I stop writing for awhile, I'm never getting it finished.
Write: edits in Chapter 3
sound of hammering in the distance
Think (and say out loud): REALLY??????? Now????????
Grit teeth and continue reading/editing
Think: Maybe if I stare at the screen long enough something will happen.
Think: Maybe I should go do something else.
Think: I need to send an email to X
Start my "to do AFTER I finish writing" to do list with "Send X email."
Think: I also need to send an email to Y
Add, send email to Y to to do list.
Think: It's 11 and I'm going to need to stop writing at noon, so maybe I should stop now.
Staring at screen some more, thinking about the scene that needs to be written. It's the funeral scene, it takes place in a church the mother likes because of the stained glass.
Think: Hm...what's the history of stained glass windows in churches?
Go to Google, type "History of stained glass"
Find information
Think: Wait, I just may have found a way into this story again.
Read more
Notice: There is no hammering while I'm looking up the history of stained glass.
Think: Hm. Cello music not doing it today, change the iPod to white noise.
Think: Doing something visual might be kind of fun. Maybe I should stop.
Read more
Break down, do some visual art.
Read more.
Think: Hey, this actually relates to one of the major themes of the novel.
Write
Think: 84 words! Whoot! I think I'm back in the story.
Read
Write
Think: Oh, that line resonates beautifully with the last scene in the novel.
falls in love with writing all over again

How Do You Know You’re a Good Writer?

I’ve noticed in my blog’s stats that the post getting the most views is the one titled “Being Told You’re a Good Writer Makes You Feel All Warm Inside.” Since that post is about when one of my professors told me she thought my novel was good and not about how you know when you’re a good writer (which, I think, is what people are really looking for when they look at that post), I thought I’d write the post everyone wants to read.

So how do you know?

The short answer is, you just know.

Which, I know, sounds glib, frustrating and unhelpful.

The medium length answer is, when you’re work starts selling or people start telling you they like what you write. But there are a couple of things wrong with this idea. One, we all know many, many writers who aren’t very good but are incredibly successful, and two, it means relying on other people to identify what’s good. Most people can identify what’s popular or trendy very easily, but not necessarily what’s good. Then again, a lot of what gets labeled as good writing just isn’t (oh, do I have a list of names for that one!).

Good writing and financial success don’t always go together. Sometimes, the best writers of a generation don’t get published because their work is too different, or they don’t find a wide audience because their work doesn’t resonate yet. Sometimes, the audience needs to learn how to read the work (the best example of something like this comes from music. When Stravinsky debuted his masterpiece, The Rite of Spring, with its discordant notes and chaotic rhythms, the audience rioted. A year later, when it was performed again, the audience loved it. In the intervening year, they had learned how to listen to the music and hear it as music rather than cacophony).

So how do you know if your work is good?

Here’s the long answer: you practice, practice, practice. You read, you write, you read what you’ve written, you read what other people have written, and you read some more. You take classes by people who know more than you do and you try the things they talk about. You listen to what they say about your writing. And you write, and write, and write. And you get honest with yourself about how close the writing comes to what you want. I mean, drop dead, no shit, honest. None of that, “it’s close enough” BS. I’m talking about pedal-to-the-metal honest with yourself about what you’ve written.

There are a few writers, an incredibly small number of writers, who are so talented everyone knows they’re good from the get-go. The funny thing is, though, the writers are usually the last to know. They usually have a teacher or someone along the way who tells them how good they are and then helps them get better.

I got my undergrad degree in creative writing. I went to school with a lot of talented writers and yet, I’m the only one still writing. Am I that much better than them? No. I just haven’t given up yet. I took a lot of classes and workshops and read voraciously about the craft of writing (my writing bookcase rivals that of any bookstore or library) and, when I wasn't finding anything new, I went to grad school and got my MFA. The professor who told me my novel is good told a class that there were many talented writers in the class and there were many who weren’t as gifted but who worked hard on their craft, and the ones who worked hard would probably find success more easily than those with sheer talent on their side. Talent only gets you so far. Then you need to work.

What the working gives you, what all that practice and reading gives you, is the ability to know when you get the words right. You may not know why the words are right, but you start to get a feel for it. You know it. And it’s not the hopeful knowing, the longing wish that it’s right, it’s the moment when you get it right and you don’t care if a single other person on the face of the planet ever agrees with you because you’ve said EXACTLY what you wanted to say in EXACTLY the way you wanted to say it. You can’t fake that moment.

You just know.